A Spiritual Journey 3/ Un Viaje Espiritual 3

2014

Through the memorization this year through 1 Thessalonians I was reminded of why I admired the apostle Paul. As a child, reading his words stating that it was no longer he who lived, but Christ in him greatly impacted me. I wanted to be able to live that! And now, memorizing his words which demonstrated sincere brotherly love…I felt the same admiration as before, only with more fervor.

Este año por medio de la memorización de 1 Tesalonicenses empecé a ser recordada de la razón por la cual admiraba al apóstol Pablo. En mi niñez, al leer sus palabras donde él decía que no era èl el que vivía ya, sino Cristo…como me impactaban. Yo quería vivir eso. Y ahora, memorizando sus palabras que mostraban un amor fraternal sincero… Yo quería ese mismo amor por mis hermanos en Cristo.

I also wanted to say: So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us.

Yo también quería decir: Tan grande es nuestro afecto por vosotros, que hubiéramos querido entregaros no sólo el evangelio de Dios, sino también nuestras propias vidas; porque habéis llegado a sernos muy queridos.

If I knew that giving my physical life could be the answer to see my brothers in Christ rejoice before God’s presence, I wanted to be willing to do it if necessary. Later one, God would show me that fasts were a form of giving my life for them. Perhaps I could not literally render my life to death for them to be saved, but God began to teach me that abstaining from food through fasting was a way of rendering my life; by abstaining from food I was abstaining from something that helps contribute to my physical life for certain periods of time.

Si yo supiera que dar mi vida física podría ser la respuesta para ver a mis hermanos regocijándose en Dios, quería estar dispuesta hacerlo si fuera necesario. Después Dios me iba mostrar que los ayunos eran una forma de dar mi vida para ellos. No podre dar literalmente mi vida a la muerte para que ellos se salven, pero Dios me empezó a mostrar que al negar la comida a través de los ayunos era como negarme la vida-que contribuye a mi vida física.

Like Paul, I would also like to be capable of saying one day: For now we live, if ye stand in the Lord.

Como Pablo, también quisiera poder decir: porque ahora vivimos, si vosotros estáis firmes en el Señor.

In December, I was speaking with a friend from church. We were talking about the condition of many youth within the church. How it is difficult to try to establish a conversation with them about God. But when we brought up mundane things such as work or school, sports…then the conversation would flow and that made us very sad.

En diciembre había hablado con un amigo de la iglesia. Estábamos hablando de la condición de muchos de los jóvenes en la iglesia. Como es de difícil de poder entablar una conversación con ellos acerca de Dios. Pero si hablábamos de la escuela o de un deporte entonces si fluía la plática y se nos hacía bien triste.

We then agreed to pray together for the youth in church. To pray that God may begin an awakening amongst the youth.

Entonces le dije que oráramos juntos por los jóvenes en la iglesia. Que Dios iniciara un avivamiento dentro de los jóvenes.

That same week I mentioned our conversation with my mother and she asked me if I had spoken with my brother. I felt chills when she said that because I felt I knew what was coming. God has occasionally spoken to my brother and me about similar things around the same time.

Esa misma semana le mencione a mi mama de nuestra conversación y me había preguntado si había hablado con mi hermano. I

“No.”

“Tell him to tell you.” Since we were all at the table together that morning he told us that he had spoken to a friend about the same thing. Of the need that there is amongst the youth for a revival and that they had agreed to pray for them. When I spoke to that same friend she told me, “Reed Chapter 12 and 15 of the book called, “The Intercessor by Rees Howells.”

“Dile que te cuente”. Así que como él estaba ahí en la mesa con nosotros me conto que él había hablado con una amiga acerca de lo mismo. De la necesidad que hay entre los jóvenes por un avivamiento y que se habían puesto de acuerdo para orar acerca de ello. Cuando hable con ella fui muy animada y me dijo “Lee el capítulo 12 y 15 del libro El Intercesor por Rees Howells.”

It seemed as if God was giving us the same feeling. That same week I spoke to another friend. It happened that she was feeling discouraged because a young girl she had known for a long time had suddenly left the church, disappearing without any reason. But she also shared with me that the youth in her church had gotten together to pray for her and how the Holy Spirit seemed to be leading their prayer towards all the youth in the churches and for a revival amongst them.

Parecía que Dios estaba poniéndonos en el mismo sentir. Esa misma semana hable con otra amiga. Sucedió que estaba muy desanimada porque había salido de repente una muchacha de la iglesia a quien habían conocido por muchos años sin entender la razón. Pero que los jóvenes se reunieron para orar por ella una tarde y que sintieron el deseo de orar por la condición espiritual de todos los jóvenes en la iglesia y por un avivamiento.

I was so happy that I felt it was another confirmation from God that he was calling us to intercede for other youth.

Me alegre mucho porque sentía que era otra confirmación que Dios nos estaba llamando a interceder por los jóvenes.

“My brother just ordered a book about an intercessor…” she began to share with me.

 “Mi hermano me esta ordenando un libro de un Intercesor…” me empezó a contar.

Before she went any further I asked, “Have you been talking to so-and so (the friend my brother had spoken with)

Antes que siguiera le pregunta, “De casualidad has hablado con tal persona (la amiga con quien mi hermano se había comunicado)?”

 “No, why?”

“No, ¿porque?”

“Because she told me to read that same book!” I began to tell her about the way it seemed that God was moving and how he had been leading us to intercede for the youth. We were both so motivated and we agreed that we would pray together and fast once in a while.

“Porque ella nos dijo que leyéramos ese mismo libro!” le empecé a contar lo que había estado sucediendo y ella se motivó  y quedamos que estuviéramos orando por lo mismo y de vez en cuando haciendo ayunos.

¿Donde esta esa Chica?

¡Saludos a todos! Solo les quiero compartir este poema que escribi y despues traduci al español. Gracias a Dios fue publicado. ¡Estoy bien emocionada y espero que solo sea el primer de muchos! Espero que les guste.

¿Dónde está esa Chica? 
Ekphrasis sobre "Áfghan Girl"

A primera vista
                Ves una nina.
La segunda vez,
                ¿Una chica?
No—
                Sus ojos,
                                Demuestran mucho más.
Anillos dorados rodean por dentro de Sus ojos encendidos
reflejando la violencia de tiroteos;
rodeados por un mar verde
ahogando los llantos
de terror atrapados
dentro de Su alma.
                                Desconfiadamente—
deslumbran, expresando—
                ¿Como se atreven?
Como trozos de vidrios;
Penetran a los que se acercan
demasiado.
Para  Ella,
El hombre huero detrás del lente,
 y los Rusos
                                                                Quien la convirtieron en huérfana,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Bombardearon Su hogar,                                        Desterrándola de su propia tierra,
Parecen ser los mismos.

Su chal, como un patrón con muchas puestas de sol—
Cierran un capítulo de Su vida,
Reverberando silenciosamente de Su viaje arduo y largo.
Su cabello es un enredo indomable
de hebras café.
Gritando—
De su escape repentino y pronto.
Su piel, el color de barro
Endurecido por vientos ásperos
                                                                Y soles áridos
Es un cuento desolado,
de una tierra
sin más lágrimas que derramar
 ¿Donde esta esa niña?
¿Donde esta esa chica?

Being a Voice for Change

I am very happy about today because it was presentation day for my speech class!

Not only do I love to talk, but I get to share about anything I wish. . . and people have to listen...with no interruptions! Isn't that great? I mean it's just not the same as when you are animatedly speaking to your friends or family who are not on the same flow and the only response you get is a befuddled look or hear the crickets in the background. No, in a communication class you actually get an applause!

My previous speech was The Homeschooling Experience as an academic option. This is something I am very passionate about as I was home schooled along with my siblings and coming to college and being surrounded by others my age, I am very gratefully for this experience now.

I have observed some young adults in college and find that it is sometimes difficult to communicate with them, not only because we have different interests, but the mentality is not the same either. For people to seek live a life that pleases God, it isn't as easy to act out our desires on a whim, but to be led by God's will and in His timing.

I feel saddened when I hear 18-19 year olds whose goals are to reach 21-the drinking age and to be admitted in clubs. When I hear about their plans, I find that many times the middle schoolers in church seem much more mature, focused, and responsible.

Not only did homescooling help me grow up into the person I am  now, but I was able to grow up in a wonderful environment, and I cultivated a close relationship with my nucleus family.

They say we can choose our friends, but not our family. This is usually said in a tone which reveals you consider your family an unfortunate lot in your life. Homeschool helped me bond with my family. My siblings have been best friends.

I grew up with lack of peer pressure or bullying (granted, I perhaps was a little of a bully at home when I was the youngest for a few years).

The academics have also been great. Despite the fact that I took two years off between high school and college I was able to excel when I tested in. I am about to transfer to a local university in the fall now and have completed honor courses, am in the Dean's list and am part of an honor society.

The academic skills I gained at home have been beneficial to me not only in my college academics, but in the work force as well. These oral and writing skills have enabled me to work on campus an English Tutor and as a Supplemental Instructor for ESL and English Basic Skill courses at college.

This preliminary preparation has helped set out my path for what my career plans are as far as I can tell. The leadership and academic skills I am continuing to build today will help train me academically and through life experiences to become a professor one day, and pursue a private career in writing at the same time wherever and for as long as God wishes me to.

I have seen God's hand in my life by opening doors for me. Yes I was homeschooled, but from my own experience, it has not impeded my opportunities in the work force, but rather launched me forward to the path that I feel God has for my life.

Today I had the honor to present a persuasive speech to my fellow peers. As many of my close friends and family are aware, I am passionate about Israel. Why?
For many reasons actually.

One, it seems that a great portion of individuals are against Israel today. There exists many feelings of anti-Semitism today as well, especially in Israel's local geographic region.

Confessions from a Dorm Chapter 6

Breakfast duty only covered two hours out of my three hour requirement. In the afternoon after lunch, Papa Celes gave me the job of ‘pilas’. It meant that I swept and mopped, dusted and organized the washroom behind the kitchen. 


It was dark and only a small door to a back hallway allowed some slits of sunlight in. I missed the sunlight and as ever, I was alone. Pilas was a solo job. I had much time to think. 

Sometimes a few internos passed by to climb down to the carpentry room that was in the sunken level beneath the washroom. Behind the washroom to the right was a storage space where extra mattresses were piled up higher than a house and covered with silver and blue tarps. Eventually, my friends and I would use it as the scene for out ‘photo shoots’. 

Here is one of me posing as ‘Rapunzel’ as some of my friends called me. All this I cleaned. I had little direction from Papa Celes when I began. It felt overwhelming at first, I didn't know where to start! I wished he could have given me a list to follow. I rememberd Booker T. Washington when he was made to clean an old room in order to be accepted into a school. He managed to impress with his cleaning skills and I hoped to do the same. Only, Papa Celes wasn't much for feedback. It was difficult to know if he was pleased by your work or not so I tried to do a good job. I swept until I reached the patio that ran along in front of the kitchen and cafeteria. It formed a large L-shape around the corner of the building. 

Sometimes I had someone to talk through the kitchen window like the girls working in the kitchen or in dishwashing. Elizabet who was usually chosen for Dinner duty could quarter chickens expertly. No one could beat her. She was that good. When I had done 2 she had already done 5.

As I swept the patio many times in silence I often had to remind myself that while I wasn’t feeling as if this small contribution was something, sometimes the most insignificant job could serve a greater purpose. If nobody swept the area, there would be more work for those cleaning inside the facility.

You had to learn patience on this job. Sometimes, the patio had been already half-swept when gushing circular wind currents spread the dust and leaves! Even though I knew I had swept, I couldn't leave it like that. Papa Celes might not believe me. I could already picture his impassive face as I explained. It was better to simply begin all over again. All that work for nothing? Patience had never been one of my virtues.

Listening to many of the courses inspired me as I meditated on them while I swept. A part of me couldn’t wait to get back home and share with my friends and family about the Biblical truths that I had never seen before. I wanted to go out and do some greater good for the world, whatever that meant. What am I doing here? I should be out there doing something useful! My patience didn’t always win. But one day as I was complaining about this to God, he allowed me to see something. In my mind I saw a cartoon image of a cartoon figure in running position. He was moving his feet so fast that all you could see were circles where his feet should have been. But as I looked closely, I noticed that he wasn’t going anywhere. The picture seemed to fade out and I was able to see a large hand that held the caricature from the hood of a sweater, pinching it between the hand’s thumb and pointer finger. I suddenly realized what God was telling me.

“That’s you. You’re trying so hard to run. But you are not going to get anywhere because look, I’m holding you back. It’s not your time yet. When it’s time, then I’ll let you go.” It wasn’t an audible voice. I was just able to sense a soft voice in my mind as if it had been my conscience.  But the message had gotten through. Loud & Clear. I needed to be patient and wait until God said, “Go.”

A Spiritual Journey/Un Viaje Espiritual 2

I remember thinking about it during my morning algebra class in college. Finally before I knew it, I was waiting for my last test of the semester. Last day of school, I thought. I knew what it meant. No more excuses. This is it. I was resolved. My fast would start that day, at that moment.

Me recuerdo pensando acerca de ello durante una mañana mientras estaba en mi clase de algebra en la Universidad. Finalmente antes de darme cuenta, estaba esperando por mi último examen del semestre. Es el último día de escuela, pensé. Sabía lo que esto significaba. Ya no hay mas escusas. Estaba resuelta. Mi ayuno empezaria de desde ese momento.

Unfortunately, at that time, I had yet to know how much God was willing to give me of His grace and strength had I only asked Him for it, but it hadn’t even occurred to me!

Desafortunadamente, en ese momento, aun no estaba consciente de que tanta gracia y fuerza Dios estaba dispuesto a darme si solo se lo hubiera pedido, pero ni se me había ocurrido!

I was no longer in school, but I had never done a fast for such a long time. I suddenly remembered my past with gastritis, all this was merely my flesh trying to impede me from doing what God was calling me to do.

Ya no estaba en la escuela, pero nunca había hecho un ayuno por tanto tiempo. De repente me recordaba de mi historial con gastritis. Todo esto simple era mi carne humana tratando de impedirme de hacer lo que Dios quería que yo hiciera.

This is why I started the vegetable fast. I thought I was being careful because of my health, and I did it for around two weeks.

Por eso es que empecé un ayuno de puras verduras y agua. Pensé que estaba tomando precaución por mi salud, y lo hice dos semanas.

I felt guilty because I didn’t feel like I was really sacrificing myself. I thought I could fix this by walking everywhere and tiring myself out through exercise. I began riding my bike because I felt the fast was too easy! I tried to make it harder for myself because I thought it would make it more of a real sacrifice.

A veces me sentía culpable porque no se sentía que esta hacienda mayor esfuerzo. Pensé que podría arreglar esto con caminar mucho y cansarme con ejercicio. Empecé a andar en mi bicicleta porque pensé que mi ayuno era demasiado fácil. Empezó a intentar de hacer más esfuerzo físico porque pensaba que eso lo convertiría en un sacrificio verdadero.

At night, when I prayed for these people I asked God to work in their hearts. Near the end of my two weeks I was asking the Lord to touch them because I wanted to see them serving him too and that it made me sad to see where they were and their disregard for Him. When I mentioned something about how I loved them I heard something.

En la noche cuando oraba por estas personas, le pedía a Dios que obrara en sus corazones. Cerca de 

estas dos semanas estaba pidiéndole a Dios que les tocara porque quería ver que ellos le sirvieran también y eso me hacía sentir muy triste cada vez cuando miraba donde estaban, lo que hacían y su desprecio por Dios. Cuando mencione algo acerca de cómo los ama escuche algo.

No you don’t.

No los amas.

I was surprised, “What do you mean? I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t.” I tried to justify myself before God. “It’s not that easy when I see my family eating sausages in front of me. Or having a nice dinner together.”

Estaba sorprendida, “¿Como dices? Yo no estaría hacienda esto so no fuera cierto.” Intente de justificarme ante Dios. No se los recomiendo. “No es fácil cuando miro a mi familia disfrutando de chorizo en frente de mi. O cuando estamos cenando juntos pero diferentes cosas.”

You say you love them, but do you really? If you really loved them you would be willing to do more.

Dices que los amas, ¿Pero es verdad? Si de verdad los amaras estarías dispuesto hacer más.

I had already known it. I had felt it was too easy. I knew what it was God wanted me to do…at least I thought I had…or maybe it was His will that year for me to pursue a different fast—the oatmeal one.

Ya lo sabía. Se me hacía que era demasiado fácil. Conocía que era lo que Dios quería de mi…al menos eso había pensado…o quizás su plan para me ese año era que yo siguiera un ayuno diferente-uno de avena.

I was ashamed because I felt as if God, GOD had caught me in my own lie. It was a pretense. I knew he was right and he was showing me my own reflection. I said I loved them, but I wasn’t willing to do a REAL sacrifice.

Estaba tan avergonzada porque sentía como si Dios, DIOS me había sorprendido en mi propia mentira. Era solo de pretensión. Conocía que El tenía la razón y que solo me estaba mostrando mi propio reflejo. Yo decía que los amaba, pero no estaba dispuesta de hacer un sacrificio verdadero.

“You’re right God.” Nobody can fool God. I don’t know what I was thinking.

“Tienes razón Señor.” Nadie puede engañar a Dios. No se que estaba pensando.

I hated the oatmeal fast and to this day I can’t eat oatmeal without feeling a bit nauseous. It was the hardest thing I had done at that time. I continued to force myself to do exercise most days for that time to make it an extra effort…

Odie ese ayuno de avena. No era una avena de Quaker´s oats, sino uno que parecía que era pura paja y peor con pura agua. Hasta el día de hoy no lo puedo comer sin sentir nausea. Era lo mas difícil de lo que había hecho en esa época. Seguía esforzándome en ejercitarme casi todos los días para hacer un esfuerzo mayor…

Now that I look back at it I don’t know if that was good or not. Now that I think about it…I feel it was like the Catholics who caused self-infliction…

Ahora que miro hacia atrás, no sé si eso era bueno…o malo. Ahora que lo pienso…parece ser algo como lo que los católicos hacían en los días de antes, quienes se causaban aflicción animismos.

All I know is that God was calling me to fast and I wanted give my effort to make sure that he heard me. All that went through my mind back then was ‘If I try real hard, it doesn’t matter if it hurts, but I want God to hear me’.

Lo unico que sabia era que Dios me estaba llamando a un ayuno y queria darle todo mi esfuerzo para asegurarme que el me escuchara. Lo único que pensabe en algún rincón de mi mente era, ‘si le hecho todo mi esfuerzo, no me importa  que duela, solo quiero que Dios me escuche’.

Below, my experience of what occurred that afternoon is recorded:

Debajo esta anotada una experiencia que tuve esa tarde:

“An Appointment with God”

“Una Cita con Dios

2 Samuel 22:7

Today I responded his call and I feel so happy for having done so. I asked God not to forget them, that the seed which He planted in those lives may not be dead. That the roots of His Word not be torn out. Or that they not be cast out like Saul. And for those who were declining, that they not die from spiritual thirst.

Hoy si respondí y me alegro mucho por haberlo hecho. Pedí que Dios no se olvide de ellos, que aquella semilla que El sembró en esas vidas no fuesen semillas muertas. ¡Que sus raíces no fueran desarraigadas! Ni que sean desechados como Saúl. Que los que estaban dentro pero menguando, no se mueran de una sequilla espiritual.

Again the songs:

De nuevo los coros:

• Pon Carga en mi Corazon
• Que yo Sea tu Mano Extendida

Touched me.

Me conmovían.

I knew I felt a real furver but I told Him, “Lord, I don’t see how, or when, but I believe it. [Concerning his promise of making the hearts of these people for whom I prayed turn again towards him]”.

Yo sé que sentí un ardor verdadero pero le dije “Señor, no veo como, ni cuando, pero lo creo [acerca de hacer volver los corazones de estas personas por quienes oraba] ´.

After I spent some time interceding for them, i read a few verses, but what stood out was Timothy 2.6

Después que pase un tiempo intercediendo por ellos leí unos versos, pero el que resalto era 2Timoteo 2:6

The laborer, to participate of the fruits must work first.

El labrador, para participar de los frutos debe trabajar primero.

-I need to work more, I thought within myself. In order to see the fruits-Is that it God? It’s just that…I don’t know how…?

-Necesito trabajar más, pensé dentro de mí. Para que vea sus frutos. -¿Es eso Señor? Solo que…¿no sé muy bien cómo…?

In my book of daily meditations I was supposed to read from June 15. The reading was titled—‘The Answer is Yes’ and the verse that ended it said:

En mi libro de meditaciones diarias me toco leer  Junio 15. La lectura esta titulada—La Respuesta es Sí y el verso en que termino decía:

In my affliction (humiliation/fast!) I called upon Jehovah, and cried unto my God; he heard my voice from his temple, and my cry came to his ears. 2Sam 22.7

En mi angustia (humillación/ ¡AYUNO!) invoque a Jehovah, y clame a mi Dios; el oyó mi voz desde su templo, y mi clamor llego a sus oídos. 2 Samuel 22.7”

There was my answer. Affliction which meant humiliation. . .represented by a fast! This is what God was calling me to do. If i wanted to act, if i wanted God to hear me, I would have to pass through affliction. It was a year after coming back from Bible school an I wanted to act. To feel like I was doing something for God, not wasting my time.

Ahí estaba mi respuesta. Angustia que significa humillación. ¡Representado por un ayuno! Eso era a lo que Dios me estaba llamando. Si es que quería actuar, si quería que Dios me escuchara, tendría que pasar por aflicción. Era el año que regrese del instituto Biblico y quería actuar. Sentir que estaba haciendo algo para Dios, no perdiendo mi tiempo.

This experience served as a confirmation that what I was doing was acting according to God’s will and I was taking the steps that He wanted me to take.

Esta experiencia me sirvió como confirmación que estaba actuando conforme la voluntad de Dios y estaba tomando los pasos que Él quería que tomara.

During 2012-2013 I tried to do what I could. My brother and I would get together with three young girls from church. But it seemed as if each time that we tried something, it wouldn’t work out.

Durante 2012-2013 intente de hacer lo que podía. Mi hermano y yo nos reuníamos con tres jóvenes. Pero parecía que cada vez que intentábamos algo, al final terminábamos en nada.

I wanted to see God move in their lives, that they might feel His presence…but maybe it wasn’t his time. And I would become discouraged because it appeared as if nothing seemed to work, but I would root myself in God’s promises that He would work in His time and not mine. I consoled myself that I had tried and by continuing to pray for them. In 2013, it seemed as if this year was too easy. The truth was that I didn’t continue my intermittent fasting, but it did not mean that the burden that I had held in my heart had dissipated. I think I was simply discouraged.

Yo quería ver que Dios se moviera en sus vidas, que ellas sintieran Su presencia…pero tal vez no era su tiempo. Y la verdad que si me desanimaba que nada parecía funcionar pero me afirmaba en las promesas de Dios que Él iba obras a Su tiempo y no la mía. Yo me consolaba en que había hecho el intento y seguían en mis oraciones. En el 2013, pareciera que este fue un año donde todo fue demasiado ligero. La verdad es que no seguí con los ayunos pero no significaba que ese clamor había muerto dentro de mí. Tal vez solo estaba desanimada.

God continues to be faithful, speaking to me through the Bible memorization. Through Hebrews, he spoke to me about having faith on things not seen. I began to have more peace in my heart. God will move, but at His time. And even though I have yet to see it, He is doing the work in them.

Dios siguió siendo fiel, hablándome siempre por medio de la memorización. Por Hebreos acerca de tener fe de lo que aún no podía ver. Empecé a tener más paz en mi corazón. Dios va obrar, pero a Su tiempo. Y aunque yo no lo puedo ver aun, él lo está haciendo dentro de ellos.