Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Perdida de Vida & Emptiness

Maria was a can collector; she often came by on trash pick-up days…or on any day to see if there was anything for her. Her signal was the crick-crick sound of the small wheels of an old laundry cart she used to carry her aluminum finds in. She wore a large beachcomber hat made of straw. It looked like a large sun always beating down on her from far away. She walked everywhere.
Sometimes the children saw her by the library; sometimes she would appear down their street. What was odd about Maria was that she didn’t seem like a typical homeless woman. Maybe she wasn’t even homeless. Maybe it was just her shabby dress and the strong scent of sweat and her aluminum cans, but we all seemed to think she without a roof over her head.
What seemed perplexing was all the gold she wore. Her hefty gold earrings and gold medallion that clung to her neck on a thick gold chain over other chains and gold bracelets to boot. They were the flashy type my mother said that gave narcos away. I didn’t know what that word meant, but her distasteful tone said everything. Maria didn’t seem bad though. She was just an old woman. No one knew where she lived, only that it was somewhere between zip codes 92114 to  92174…
***
One day, we saw her outside our own front yard. Under the shade of our bougainvillea's perfect arch. Under the fuchsia fringe, she sat.
        With a tall glass of water in hand, my mother went out to greet her, “¿Quiere agua?” she asked, extending the glass towards her as she bent down to crouch on the step above her.
        “Gracias” the woman nodded in appreciation, accepting the water eagerly. Almost immediately after her first sip, Maria’s cloudy eyes began to clear and brighten. The liquid restoring her spirit, her body now began feeling somewhat recuperated after the cruel evaporation of her perspiration in the heat under the violent summer rays.
        Her tongue, now moistened, began to awaken and Maria began to talk. I ran from window to window in my tiny home, straining my ears to catch her words. I watched, from behind the lacy curtains, behind the glass.
Beneath the shade of fuchsia leaves, Maria spoke. My mother, now sitting beside her, listened to her voice. It had a rough texture, the sound of two grinding stones grating against each other. She spoke of the children she’d left behind in southern lands.
“Have you spoken with your children?”
“No, not really,” Maria answered in her own tongue.
“You should communicate with them, let them know where you are,” my mother said, probably already thinking of lending her our phone, but Maria’s answer only seemed to perplex me even more.
“Oh no, they have their own lives over there, I don’t want to be a burden to them. Each time I call them they ask me for money.”
“¡Hay!” my mother covered her mouth in surprise.
“They think I must be well off because I live in this country.” Maria went on, “the truth is, I am barely getting by, but I don’t want to go back. I have nothing to give them. It´s better I just stay here now than return empty handed. I thought life would be better here, but it just never worked out.” she touched the largest medallion with the shape of the Aztec sun god engraved into the gold. The god whom required human sacrifices but offered little in return. “I guess I should have stayed there” she laughed dryly.  The shame of her family knowing of her failure was at least one thing Maria probably thought she could avoid. “I rather stay here and have them think bad of me, that I am greedy, but at least that I am well, and not feel sorry for me and see me like this.” Her free hand extended to point towards herself, from her mismatched bohemian pants to the dark sun spots on her weather-beaten skin.
“How long have you been here?”
“Almost 36 years. My husband left me. And you know women’s lot.” My mother nodded. She seemed to understand what that meant, but I was confused, What does she mean? I wondered. “I thought I could find him, but this is a big country. Then, a friends of a friend told me they saw him in L.A.”
“That’s like finding a needle in a haystack,” my mother shook her head. “Did you ever find him?” Maria cocked her head to the side.
“Found him? Found him AND almost scratched his eyes out. That dog was with another woman, younger, stupid. She wasn’t even beautiful. I went crazy, thinking about my five children I left only to find him like that, living like a single man without responsibilities.” She murmured a word I never hear before, but I didn’t think it was a very good one. My mother’s eyes suddenly enlarged; a look I always feared when directed towards me.
“Why did you stay?”
“How could I not? I didn’t have enough money to go back. I couldn’t even bring back my own husband. I was stuck here, but then I found this,” Maria pointed to her can collection, “could get me by, so I have been saving almost every cent I’ve made to for my children. Ten to twelve dollars is peanuts here you know. You can’t live on that here, but it could keep my children alive over there. Never told them how I earned it and now, they never ask. They don’t know me any more. They just know I have always sent them money, and wonder why I don’t send more.”
My mother still seemed shocked by the first revelation of her husband’s betrayal and only asked, “Have you eaten already? Let me go make something for you, it’s almost lunch ti…” but Maria shook her head, refusing her offer.
        “No, I am fine. I’ll just sit here a while longer.”
        “Ooo-ookay,” my mother seemed to look at her dubiously. I was perplexed at Maria’s refusal and wondering whether my mother would insist. Instead, Maria handed her the empty glass, “I could get you some more water…?” my mother added.
        “That’s fine,” Maria nodded while turning away. She looked silently towards the empty street and removed her straw hat to fan herself, revealing her burgundy dyed curls at the nape of her neck. Slowly, my mother rose and re-entered the house.
        “What happened?” I attacked my mother with questions as soon as she closed the front door. I thought it was weird that Maria didn’t want any food, isn’t she poor? I thought. That didn’t make sense to me, but then neither did her gold jewelry and her aluminum cans.
“Here,” my mother gave me the glass refilled with cold water, the condensation already forming on the outside like dew drops. “Take this to her.”
“Me?” I looked at her incredulously at the surprise of her request. Why does she have to send me for? I was content with watching from far away, hearing her converse with the Jehovah Witnesses, the sales people, the Mormons whose white signature shirts foretold of their eventual retreat as they returned empty-handed without new converts and now, Maria. I racked my brain for something that would save me,“I thought you said not to talk to strangers.”
“Go Ary!” My mother seemed annoyed now, so I complied.  I had never met anyone like Maria before. I guess I was afraid of her; I don’t know why. I didn’t like strangers in general who disrupted the harmony of everyday life. But Maria was different, she wasn’t selling anything, no newspapers, no religion. She was just sitting there, she didn’t even want our food! What kind of poor person doesn’t want any help? I thought. Maria was just content to be left alone under the bougainvillea.
She took the glass as before. I couldn’t help but stare at the engraved image on her medallion. I stood hypnotized.
“¿Te gusta?” she seemed to caress her medallion. I shook my head. I thought it looked scary. It was a large shiny sun surrounded by a dragon and other wild looking creatures with sharp teeth and sneaky eyes. It had a face in the middle that looked like a demon with a leering expression and a long tongue that stuck out between its’ bottom lip and tiny upper teeth. I felt it staring at me and turned my face away to break the spell of fear. I don’t think even the tooth fairy wants those nasty teeth, I thought.
“Are you a narco?” I whispered. Maria only laughed, rather than reprimand me.
“No mija. I’m just a foolish woman.” I eyed her laundry cart wondering if...was her whole life  was in there?
“Is that from Mexico?” I asked, returning to the discussion of her medallion. If she was poor, why didn’t she just sell her jewelry for money? I knew I’d rather have money than have that ugly thing touching my neck. Maybe she didn’t have to live like this.
“Yes. These are all I have left from my family, from my home.” That’s why she didn’t sell it? I remembered my mother’s tea saucer with the golden rim from her grandmother. I was never allowed to use it for my tea parties. Maybe her medallion was like my mother’s saucer. Maria didn’t speak anymore, as if dismissing my presence, sipping her water. She no longer seemed to see me.
Finding my chance, I dashed away, hiding back inside my home and watched her again from behind the curtains. When I peeked again, she had already gone, disappeared, returning under the unmerciful rays of the sun. for what? I wondered. Was she too ashamed to face her children? Why didn’t she just say she was sorry? She preferred instead to carry her own heavy load, not on her shoulders, but in that old laundry cart. She seemed to be sacrificing her own life without a purpose like the victims that died for Huitzilopochtli, the sun god, to bring bountiful harvests, but all in vain.
When I went back outside, the crick-crick of wheels could be heard distantly. The only thing that remained of her presence  now was the large empty glass that stood like a lonely figure on our front steps, tall and proud, but empty nonetheless, under the shade of our bougainvillea plant.
She never did revisit our front steps again, but I saw her often on other hot days, more consumed than before, her life slowly seeping away. She walked proudly, but had nothing to be proud of.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The Reflection: Oz and Israel

The Reflection: Oz and Israel
A Tale of Love and Darkness is more than a memoir; it is a compilation of memories of history in the making, of politics, the community, the family and home environments. There are two voices in the memoir: the distinct memories perceived by the young eyes of the child Amos, and the reflections of him as an adult, mature enough to understand and interpret the experiences that influenced his life. In A Tale of Love and Darkness by Amos Oz, his family is used as a reflection of Israel and Jews throughout the ages showing the eclectic influences through its development as a country and on the inhabitants.
The diverse cultural, academic and political ideologies that have accompanied the Jews to Jerusalem is observed by Oz as their knowledge is fused together and helps create a new type of irremovable inheritance. Although Oz begins describing his own life by comparing his family’s relationship with books to that of a lover, he also depicts how in Jerusalem, at the heart of their land, everyone else seems to be having an affair with books as well. Jerusalem, at the time under British rule, since the 1920s, is now surrounded by well-educated and cultured Jews who have now returned to their land from across Europe to make Aliyah (16-17). To young Oz, it seems everyone he encounters is a scholar (3). In the memoir, the intellectual Jews in Jerusalem are married to books with knowledge as their first-born child. Oz describes his own relatives outside his nuclear family, whom amongst can be found more book lovers, one behind another, some, more notable than others like his Uncle Joseph Klausner, a notable historian, writer, i.a. . Oz remarks how the land’s present state of British occupation greatly influenced their extensive reading habits. “What else did we have to do” (21)? He remarks how Jerusalem’s 7 o’clock curfew was enforced by the British (21).  Britain treated them like a strict father, keeping them under strict regulations like children who needed to be sent to bed early. Despite the locals’ limitations, Jewish people found freedom through reading as a form of entertainment and escape.
Within his nuclear family, Oz is fed a balanced diet of intellectual literature[1] by his father and what his father deemed as fluff [2], by his mother. His father, Yehuda Arieh Klausner, an intellectual deriving from a long line of scholars, passes on his Lithuanian and Odessan roots to Oz, constantly feeding him intellectual meat.  Meanwhile, his mother Fania Mussman, an educated woman from an affluent family in Rovno, Poland, concedes him with literary desserts. Both parents shared idealistic expectations of the New Jew prior to their arrival to British-occupied Palestine (37, 193). As mentioned in the course, the New Jew is an idea comprised of a modern Jews who is not only intellectual, but strong, as well as attractive. Despite the fact that Oz’s father could read approximately 16 languages and speak eleven, while his mother could read and write half as many, he was only taught Hebrew (2). Their vision for an Israeli state fomented Zionistic ideals in Oz’s own life. Throughout his childhood, Oz could sense the burden of his parents’ hopes of his achieving the greatness which had passed them by (267). Even during his teenage years when Oz physically rebels against his family legacy, Arieh’s faith in his son does not flicker as he still hopes that the family torch will be passed on to his son (464, 477). Despite his youthful efforts to purge himself from his family ties, Oz has demonstrated how not even such a drastic change of environment and lifestyle was capable of stifling the flames cultivated by so many generations past (487, 515).  Oz articulates, “in vain did I endeavor to excel in farm work and fail in school. In vain did I grill myself like a steak in my efforts to be as brown as the rest of them” (515). In vain, in vain, in vain he goes on to describe how he tried to eradicate his identity, yet expresses that beneath the layers of his deep brown tan, there still persisted a pale versifier at his core.
Because the memoir is saturated with the heterogeneous origins of how and why the Jews share certain values, Oz shares two perspectives of how this love for books developed. This takes place before British occupation and before many Jews were uprooted or compelled to leave their European homes. Outsiders defined education as the Jew’s real religion, while Jews understood the value of it, believing “that education was an investment in the future, the only thing no one can ever take away from your children” (178). Without any understanding of Jewish history and the incessant prejudice that accompanies it, it is easy for an outsider not to comprehend this bond with knowledge that has developed over centuries. As shown in the scriptures, “wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun (Ecc. 7.11 NIV). In his memoir, Jews might not have been expelled from Europe with physical riches like their ancestors did in the Torah during their expulsion from Egypt, however, in this new age, they have returned with intellectual riches. The knowledge that derives from education has become woven into the identity of Jewish culture as their irremovable inheritance.  
The eclectic experiences that Jews have had forms the personification and value on books, comparing them to a child or a woman. Oz shows his readers that not only is the body of the book appealing, but most importantly, it is the contents that initiates such a bond between the two. It is the wisdom found between the pages that hold the secrets that have saved many Jews around the world. Throughout the memoir, Oz personifies the book when describing his father’s own “sensual relationship with his books” always stroking them like a woman and even comparing his first published book to a child when he says, “it’s as though I’ve just had another baby.” (23, 132). Despite these references to these comparisons within his own time, Oz also shows his reader that this is far from being a new concept. The urge to seek wisdom has been taught since the writing of the Tanakh, “fortunate is the man who has found wisdom…. It is a tree of life for those who grasp it, and those who draw near it are fortunate” (Tanakh Online, Mishlei. 3:13, 18). It is also characterized as a woman when it says, “do not forsake her [i.e. wisdom], and she will preserve you; love her and she will guard you (Tanakh Online, Mishlei. 4:6) Constantly, it assures people who seek wisdom that they will find protection in the truth found in the words within that book. The same ideology has been passed down so that even Oz’s family acknowledges and embraces these benefits which wisdom or knowledge offer through books and education as a medium. He says, “even through “another war, another revolution, another migration, more discriminatory laws—your diploma you can always fold up quickly, hide it in the seams of your clothes, and run away to wherever Jews are allowed to live” (178). He explains how the wisdom contained in books has been the preservation of his people many times. It is the tool that has provided them with the education, like a mother who nurtures her children and feeds them with the nourishment they need to survive.
The effects of the influence of British dominion and of the World War that caused another genocide are mirrored in the people that influence Oz’s life. Britain’s pre-World-War II motto of, “Keep calm and Carry On” resounds amongst Oz’s family circle. That stereotype of sterile British coldness, creeps up in the background, its effects, revealing its presence in the memoir from time to time. In a phone call to relatives in Tel Aviv, Oz reflects on the awkwardness of his family’s conversation, describing its’ staccato tone (11). At the time, Oz was too young to absorb the gravity of the political tension caused by Hitler, their domineering father—the British, and their Arab neighbors, but, as a writer, he reflects on the uncertainty of the times they were living. Looking back, Oz has been able to read between those awkward lines and says the following:
those telephone conversations reveal to me now how hard it was for them—for everyone, not just my parents—to express private feelings. They had no difficulty at all expressing communal feelings—they were emotional people, and they knew how to talk. Oh, how they loved to talk! .…but the moment they tried to give voice to a private feeling, what came out was something tense, dry, even frightened, the result of generation upon generation of repression and negation. (12)
Within his memoir, he mirrors the impact of British colonialism in Palestine. There is trepidation, the people live as if on their tip-toes on a land that they cannot officially call their own. He mentions repression, a reminder of the British influence on the people, advising its’ subjects to reign in their emotions, until all that is left is an unrecognizable and numb exterior. Negation displays the absence and perhaps even the denial of the positive display of emotions such as love and affection. These become a significant and absent variable in Oz’s own childhood as well.
The word, love, in the title of the memoir is a paradox, because even though it is what Oz most craves, he describes more the lack of physical affection actually received as a child. His parents’ way of showing love differs from other families and even Fania warns Oz not to look at her marriage with his father as a pattern for his own in the future (505). Oz hardly describes any form of physical affection between his parents or between them and him. His relationship with his parents always seems to live off on conversations. Their function always seems to lead for the purpose the education. His father’s conversations with him are typical of other group conversations occurring amongst the Jews. Somehow, they always finish in a monologist lecture (66). As a consequence, the lack of affection and communication affects Oz’s development in his childhood.
He learns from a very young age that showing intellectual prowess and a mature perspective of thought allows him to gain his parents’ and other adults’ attention through the manner of smiles, looks, and proud remarks. With his parents, their attention, verbal praise, and pride in his academic success, and mental development takes new meaning. It has replaced the meaning of the expression of physical affection in Oz’s life and he understands it, accepts and craves it. He is often described as a special or extraordinary child and he takes pride in his oddity, or his uniqueness as a child (261, 214, 217). “Even when I was five,” Oz says, “I was ashamed of crying, and at the age of eight or nine I learned to suppress it so as to be admitted into the ranks of men” (457). It seems that Oz has renounces his childhood in order to receive his parents’ favor.  Being an only and lonely child, Oz does what he feels he must to be accepted. In return, he is treated like a little adult and he purposely tries to appease them or seek ways to impress them, to assimilate himself into their adult circle. He becomes addicted to their affection and becomes a “one-child show. A nonstop performance. A lonely stage star, constantly compelled to improvise, and to fascinate, excite, amaze, and entertain his public”. Because it worked so well, young Oz feels he has “to steal the show from morning to evening” (261). Oz’s actions show how he has learned to use his intellect in order to secure his parents’ attention and affection. His mother’s early death seems to exacerbate the conflict of his emotions of feeling unworthy and impossible to be loved (213-214). After her death, he feels his attempts to draw his parent’s attention (i.e. affection) with his talents have been a waste, and that the affection they did have was still insufficient to retain his mother in the land of the living.
Oz’s own performance as a child and his need to appease the adults surrounding him reflect the actions of the Jewish population and even modern day Israel. Before the instatement of the Israeli state, Oz has described the need for his people to put on a show for their own survival since the Jewish Enlightenment, “there was a terror that we might, heaven forbid, make a bad impression on the Gentiles, and then they would be angry and do things to us too dreadful to think about” (190). Despite all the efforts made to play by society’s rules, to use their talents, their knowledge, their strengths, denying themselves for the good of others, it could all be undone with just one mistake (104). “In short,” Oz explains, “we had to try very hard to make a good impression that no child must mar, because even a single child…could damage the reputation of the entire Jewish people” (190). Bearing such a heavy weight by attempting to integrate themselves to the Gentile world, in peaceful and mutual symbiosis, Oz depicts this fragile relationship as a frantic courtship (104). Even during his childhood, he shows how their future has always appeared to be hanging by a thread, in suspense (11). This continual performance that Oz writes about is an effort “to make friends, to ingratiate themselves, to be accepted, to belong, to be loved. . .” (104) The feelings that young Oz felt, the need to put on a show, to impress, is not a foreign feeling, but actually a mutual understanding by fellow Jews for generations.
The show continues for Jewish politicians today since the establishment of the Israeli state. They find themselves with the task of trying to represent their country in a positive light on a global scale. The frantic courtship which Jews experienced for centuries continues even in modern day as the media at large fails to represent the country on equal footing. Marvin Byers, an American and Israeli writer shared his own experience of this in his book Yasser Arafat—An Apocalyptic Character? (1997). While living in Israel, Byers realized just how little the media outside of Israel actually covers.  He says, “the news media never seems to hesitate in promulgating twisted ‘facts’” (47). By the time the West news media focuses their cameras on Israel, the media will usually capture its’ actions of defense in poor light (46-8) Israel continues trying to appease its’ global neighbors as Oz has described by doing “everything humanly possible to please it, to break through its hostility with frantic courtship” (104). Today, the fight for appeasement among the Jewish community continues around the world by using their intellectual inheritance through their contribution through arts and information, cyber technology, medical, and agricultural fields. 
Although Fania’s death during Oz’s childhood stirs many emotions of anger, guilt, and deep hurt, he initially interprets it as a failure on his part for his poor performance to gain her affection. Fania’s overdose suicide made her son feel abandoned. “To forsake is to betray”, Oz explains, “And she had forsaken both of us, Father and me” (213). He considered it as a sign that she had never loved him because Oz did not think of her as a denatured mother. This leads young Oz to believe he couldn’t be loved or even be deserving of it (213). Just as he considers his mother has turned her back on him, his action of leaving Jerusalem for the Hulda kibbutz is an answer to her abandonment. His resolution of moving to the kibbutz reveals his tactic to cope with his mother´s loss as if to say, ‘as you have forsaken me, so shall I forsake you’. However, this attempt of Oz is futile because his memoir reveals how he subconsciously tries to meet his mother’s approval by emulating her ideal image of the New Jew.
As Oz emulates the image of the New Jew, he also attempts to turn his back on his father’s family legacy of intellectualism because of Arieh’s own betrayal to his marriage and family. Arieh’s unfaithfulness to his wife during her depression injures Oz to reject any demonstration of his inheritance. Oz discovers his father with another woman at a café by accident while cutting class. He remembers seeing his father delighting another woman while his own mother was sitting at home, shrouded in darkness, forgotten. It didn’t help that his father remarried approximately a year after his wife’s death, whereupon Oz’ down spiral in his academics begins (465-66). “I killed my father” Oz says, “particularly by changing my name” (464). He forsook his father by his act of moving to Hulda to work as a pioneer, while trying to show depreciation for what his family held in high honor—education. Even though he flees from it, this passion for knowledge runs through his veins no matter where he escapes away to. Even though he initially refrains from participating in discussions, writing or telling stories, he cannot refrain from reading and through this method, Oz continues his autodidactic education (483). Eventually he is even caught cultivating his artistic abilities through painting or writing (515).
His father’s betrayal to both his mother and him is a reflection of British occupation and their betrayal to both Arabs and Jews. Oz describes the relationship between the Jews and Arabs as brothers bound together by the same father who has betrayed them both like Arieh (342). Like Fania and her sisters whose worse accusation among them was sounding like their domineering mother, the same way Oz describes the loathing between Arabs and Jews who see their father’s (colonialism) reflection in each other (172, 343). He explains how they are seen as the new colonizers by Arabs who have drawn the short stick in this bargain. Like Oz, Jews have also rejected their father, yet in spite of this, Arabs have observed how they have nevertheless begun emulated them as well (435-36).
Oz’s encounters and perspectives of his Arab neighbors changes over time throughout his memoir. His initial encounter with Arabs was with an elderly man who saved him from a locked storage room in a shop during his early childhood. Feeling this new comfort, Oz remembers being reluctant to leave his embrace and gentle caresses as the Arab man stroked his cheek and patted his shoulders (231). By the time he encounters Aisha, an Arab girl, Oz has been well indoctrinated in Zionism, so much that he cannot simply be a child. He already feels the heavy weight of being an ambassador “with a strong sense of national awareness” on a mission to bring this girl to the Jewish Zionistic ways of reasoning before he makes an attempt to befriend her (322-25). Aisha confounds him though when she breaks that invisible barrier between them by coaxing the childish nature that has been deeply buried within Oz by challenging him to climb a tree (326). By the next time that Oz considers the relationship between Jews and Arabs, he has witnessed too much violence swiftly after the establishment of the Israeli State in 1948 during the Arab-Israeli War. He has become desensitized by the war and indifferent to Arabs and their cause until his perspective shifts again during his time at the kibbutz (321). For years Oz has lived with a sense of his self-righteous existence in Palestine, experienced the fear and the animosity towards the people who have threatened his very existence, and those he has loved.
 Ephraim Avneri, a kibbutz member seems to put the issue between Jews and Arabs into context for Oz in a new perspective. Ephraim’s balanced outlook reverberates through Oz even in his most recent years. “What do you expect from them?” he asked Oz, “to celebrate with us and wish us luck?... And what about what we’ve taken from them?... If we take more from them someday, now that we already have something, that will be a very big sin” (435-36). This is also warning which foreshadows the present condition between Israelis and Palestinians’ land dispute. In an interview with Amos Oz where he discussed his novel Judas (2014), he repeats similar ideas that were formed that day after listening to Ephraim, “we won’t shoot them because they’re a nation of murderers, but for the simple reason that we also have the right to live and for the reason that we also have a right to a land of our own,” in answer to being provoked (Oz 436). Oz realized that day that he has a choice to develop his own opinion separate from the pharisaical Zionists that he didn’t know he had before.
Oz’s mother Fania, who slips away from his world without anyone’s notice or sympathy, was neglected due to insufficient knowledge or interest of her condition. Despite her intellectual capabilities, Fania’s life appears to suppress her talents by her silence during discussions, writing during the day when her husband is out, and simply remaining a housewife who foments and supports her husband’s endeavors instead (68, 365, 404).  Even with all this, she seems at peace until the ghosts of her past seem to haunt her and the depression sets in. Oz documents her two bouts of depression from which she couldn’t be revived from in the end.  Along with other women of her generation, Fania’s ticket to Palestine sent her through an acculturation shock from which there was no return (214). Other factors that could have affected his mother’s suicide were the loss of the people whom she had grown up with during the Nazi extermination of Jews in Rovno between 1941-42 (152). In the end, the motives that led to her suicide are ambiguous, but the severity of her decline goes by unnoticed by many, unconsidered by family, and misunderstood by doctors (212, 448).  Some blamed her, making her the one responsible for allowing herself to wallow in depression without considering the facts. She was a victim of her time because the gravity of depression as a mental condition was not yet understood during Fania’s lifetime. As a result, there were not enough people who could have taken an interest and made a difference. The same mentality with which Fania was regarded during her death-inducing depression serves as a reflection for the condition of many holocaust survivors in Palestine.
Like Fania, the feelings towards the Jewish holocaust survivors who had immigrated to Palestine lacked understanding and sympathy. Jews already living in Palestine or who had fled Europe before Hitler’s regime could touch them, were unsympathetic to those who did not meet the same fate as them. They were measured unfairly by Jews already living in Palestine and regarded on the lowest rung of their social hierarchy. They were seen as a blight on their reputation, not only contaminating the Hebrew language with their mixture of Yiddish, but also tearing down what their Jewish predecessors had struggled to recreate in the image of the New Jew: someone strong, not a victim, optimistic, not embittered (13-14). Like Oz who was embarrassed of his mother’s weak mental condition, so were many other Jews of these holocaust survivors. These scarred survivors were unwanted by both Europe and even among their own because their experiences had converted their lives into an empty shell, leaving many scarred and thought of as unproductive. These holocaust survivors like Oz’s neighbor, Mr. Licht whom he described as yelling at the children who passed by, had great need of “a huge amount of patience and effort” which their Jewish comrades were lacking (13-14) The book describes everyone in Jerusalem with their thoughts in a second-dimensional world that existed in their writings, thoughts, or research (36). There was no time to think about anyone else even for hurt people like Mr. Licht and Fania.
Amos Oz depicts his family and their eclectic roots as a reflection of Israel and the people inhabiting this land. The memoir establishes the context of Jews’ value for wisdom, books, and explains the bond between the two. The text becomes an educational tool that depicts the effects of British dominion and the surrounding political issues in Oz’s life and other Jews in Palestine. In A Tale of Love and Darkness, Oz redefines the word love and establishes the need to impress as as child does and uses this as a reflection of Israel and Jews’ situation throughout history. His mother’s death a thread that runs through the entire book, mirrors the experience of Jewish holocaust survivors and their treatment in Palestine while his parents’ betrayal eventually leads Oz to change his identity and his perspectives on the Arab community.